her sober eyes freeze me,
liquor quickens in my blood
(I can feel it),
with anyone else I was
on point & articulate.
with her I slurred my speech, felt witless,
…though she doesn’t seem to mind.
later I would see her on her
phone. she didn’t know many
where was her date? I take one (last)
cigarette from a stranger friend
and wonder ‘how did it come to this.’
where I crave water, and can’t believe
I’d hold any more hands, and how can
anyone possibly make a baby these days?
you’re still there, sitting down and flipping
contacts up and around with your fingers
hitting people back.
I check inside and the tables are all removed,
the bar is shutting down; some people are taking
shots of old, expensive tequila. my ping pong balls
are gone, and so are you.
I fly home in a haze, hit my pillow. sleep. I get accosted
by made-up beauties, amalgamations of faces, bodies,
fashions. in my dreams I’m celibate, I can’t even take a kiss without wincing.