fucking hipsters

It was a rough fall and an even harder
winter, but now spring is here. The mumble

manic emo rappers are still raining down from
the SoundCloud, and she’s one of them; green

long hair with with pink wisps strewn about:
lil lex, no caps, except her album is called A PRO.


Billy and lex got married in a chunk of trees,
and I only got an invite because back in

high school I made out with the bride behind some
bleachers at a football game. Who remembers who won?

You had a black Run-DMC shirt that was cut up and sleeveless
with a scarlet bra that didn’t have any wire; you had a flute

of something that bubbled, but I never saw any glassware around.
after the ceremony everyone partied in the greenbelt, and Sasha

stayed around not drinking, but picking up trash with a plastic bag.
We smoked a joint together and I asked her your name, “who, her?”

“I dunno,” and then I helped her pick up trash for a bit as the light faded

behind the mixed native and invasive trees. She had yellow flats
with a blue flower print; I had black chucks, predictably, horribly–I wore slacks,
and my shirt had had a collar, but it would not stay tucked.

later, in firelight, lil lex threw off her wedding day tube top
and Billy laughed and poured Prosecco

all over himself. they kissed, and we all applauded and you were still
there, a wry and joyous look on your face, your bangs banging against

my blurred, drunk vision. There was a milky, full moon and a clear sky,
and it was a blessedly cool night. Billy started to howl, you yawped,

and song-of-myself I swear, that made me stumble. No, it wasn’t the booze
or drugs, it was that noise from your mouth. I heard your voice and fell.

the H.E.B.

that drunk man without a home is yelling
“happy new years” but it’s only the day
after christmas. for him, what’s the difference?
automatic doors open for me, the security officer
does not bat an eye.

while placing produce on the conveyor
I got distracted and
some little inkling of a poem slipped out
my mind, off my earlobe, and smacked
the ground. it flipped like a fish, wriggled

for some other undeserving wretch to receive.

now here I am, fuming;
the cashier lady won’t make small talk,
because she’s too busy talking to the person
in front of me, and also working.
I have some strong feelings
on this coffee I’m about to buy.
bad shit in Burma all week, but this ground
bean bag contains cayenne and dark chocolate.
it is fair trade, organic, and allied with the rain
forest so don’t you dare say I’m not a hero.

the cashier still won’t talk to me, but I listen
to public radio, and we all know that the world
is awful. just, wow, look into her eyes. look into mine.
eventually we’ll start crying and I think that means we’re in love.

foggy mems

burned the coffee thinking of words
to use when writing about you.
(what word rhymes with commission?)

I’m still kinda missing that one night
where we, where uh, well, we watched
that movie at the friend’s apartment who

had the dog that was scared of me (“she
just doesn’t like GUYS”). we posted
up in summer night seriousness and

even though we were stoned you would
flash some steel sober looks at me, and I
left awed, staggered: who’s this chick?

you know, the coffee dripped out okay,
but I still don’t know what details to
add and what to give an omission.

I Don’t Know Why YOU Hated The Last Jedi, But I’ve Got a Theory….

Something weird is going on with Star Wars: The Last Jedi. We’ve got a movie that is labeled “Certified Fresh” on Rotten Tomatoes, with an impressive 92% of reviews for the film deemed as favorable. Rotten Tomatoes has gotta be, I think, the internet’s go-to aggregate website of movie reviews. But the funny thing about The Last Jedi, is that it’s only holding up this fantastic score of 92% on the critical side. Apparently, only 54% of audiences actually enjoyed the film. Now, I think this is just based off of audience reviews on Rotten Tomatoes. Still, I mean, to me, this is mind blowing.
A few things:

  1. First off, I loved the movie and expected others to as well. Go figure.
  2. How did so many people hate this movie while critics loved it? Critics, the soulless, crotchety buzzkills, are supposed to be the ones that hate fun and popular things.
  3. Why is everyone so passionate about hating this movie? According to various accounts I’ve heard, this movie has destroyed childhoods. Destroyed. Childhoods. Imagine that. Like, how could…? I don’t know… I mean, a movie would have to be REALLY awful to do that, right? I dunno, I’m assuming a lot of people speak in hyperbole about a film they had high expectations for, but still…

Usually after being confronted with this intense Last Jedi vitriol I’m just left sputtering to myself, “buh… wuh… huh?” The film was just so enjoyable to me. I haven’t been this entertained by a holiday box office mammoth since the Lord of the Rings trilogy. During the movie I was in nerd heaven. It lived up to my expectations and more. So what gives? Why are the haters hating SO HARD on this particular intergalactic romp?

Well, I kinda just now noticed something that I think may have been more evident to others much earlier… And keep in mind, this isn’t to take away from any valid critical points anybody may have about the film. It wasn’t perfect, y’all. I can still critique a movie I loved. It’s just… a lot these angry nerds (I’ve noticed) who have had their lives torn apart by a fantasy/action/sci-fi blockbuster flick (a Star Wars) are (it seems to me) angry white guys.

And, like, not necessarily the same angry white guys who elected our shithead of a president. A lot of diehard Star Wars fans are bleeding heart liberals, I know this. There are a lot of proud Jedi junkies that were on the Hillary Hill from the beginning, I’m sure. I’m not really trying to make a comment on the political leanings of these white boy nerds… it’s just… they’re white boys. Like, they represent a vast majority of the people I’ve heard hating on this latest franchise film.

Again, obviously, there are women and non-white people who hate the movie. They exist. I’ve talked to some of them. But still… the majority of the pissed off, passionate nerds I’ve seen are white and male. And I think… I mean, just… hear me out, but I think… it’s because they don’t see themselves in the film?

Like, they have a hard time finding a major character they can relate to and empathize with. That’s… that’s essentially my theory. Rey is obviously (I think..) the main character of The Last Jedi, but the movie is an ensemble piece. And it’s got a lot of women. My belief is that for a lot of these white guys–though they’d NEVER admit it–the abundance of women is off-putting. You know, they don’t get a cool Han Solo, shooting aliens and delivering sarcastic one-liners. They don’t have a blonde haired, blue eyed archetypical Luke Skywalker fulfilling some destiny and discovering after all these years *gasp* his birthright is important and meaningful.

Source: Flickr, junaidrao#Movie #Poster Star Wars: Episode VIII – The Last Jedi (2017) [1024 x 1523]
The white dudes in Last Jedi are not what these angry white dudes are used to having pass for representation in the film. We have Kylo Ren, the main young baddie. He’s a petulant man child that throws tantrums; he is perpetually angry. We’ve got General Hux, a soldier who seems to fail at every turn; he’s a fascist asshole who can’t seem to please his fascist asshole bosses. These guys are both bad dudes, and they aren’t particularly “cool” about it either. And even if Kylo has a bitchin’ scar, rad helmet, and nifty red lightsaber, he’s a complicated character. We can’t just “ooh” and “ahh” over him due to sharp, bold character design like Boba Fett, Darth Maul or General Grievous. He’s more than a sleek looking killing machine with a potentially titillating back story (that we never explore except in comics, tv shows, and out-of-canon novels). Kylo Ren is meant to be deeper than just a cool looking villain who fights flashy. This makes him harder to relate to for people. The emotions he struggles with and the personal drama he sorts through makes him complicated, but he’s not someone you want to see yourself in. This is not the character angry white dudes are looking for.

The Luke we have now is not the familiar, hot, young Skywalker from the initial three films. He’s not a plucky pilot with something to prove. He’s not a Jedi Master-in-training with untapped potential. He doesn’t have fun sidekicks to banter with, or a training montage, or a kiss from a pretty girl (who may or may not be his sister). Naw… instead Luke is old and kind of grouchy and NOT AT ALL into the whole “Jedi thing” anymore. He’s the exact opposite of what so many (white guy) nerds imagined him to be. This is not the character angry white dudes are looking for.

Even Poe, (who like… I guess a lot of people like to identify Oscar Issac as white?) is not what the nerds are looking for. He makes mistakes and is reprimanded repeatedly–by women, no less! In the film, he’s portrayed as stubborn and arrogant. Poe is like a Han Solo except he doesn’t really get a big redeeming moment where all the people (ie, women) who doubted him shake their heads and say “oh man, he was right and I was wrong.” Also, he’s far from the main character. He doesn’t even play foil to the main character. Nope. This isn’t what the angry white dudes wanted either.

And they won’t tell you this, but they didn’t want Rey or Rose or General Leia or Vice Admiral Holdo or Finn. They wanted someone they could see themselves in, and in my (wild and unsupported) opinion, none of the aforementioned characters fit that bill simply because they don’t literally resemble the angry white male nerd. Obviously Kylo Ren, Hux, and Luke are white; but again, these aren’t who the angry white male nerd wants to see himself in.

It’s a shame too, because, like, representation in film and television and music and theater (and everything) is important. Another thing that’s important: being able to empathize and connect with people who DON’T look like you. Anyone who isn’t a white guy has probably already had to do this. In fact, everyone else has had to learn to empathize with average white dudes because for such a long time in American narratives, that’s mostly all anybody ever saw. That’s how, in the west anyway, the vast majority of stories were told. White dudes pairing up with other white dudes usually fighting some more white dudes. Maybe they’d get a girl or a brown friend to help them out, but… usually… white guy adventures just consisted of one group of white guys meeting and fighting with other white guys.

With this in mind, The Last Jedi looks pretty fucking diverse. And divisive, I guess? What I’m trying to get at is, maybe white men have been conditioned to have a hard time empathizing with a character that doesn’t look like them. Is that such a wild thought? I don’t think so.
And again, this isn’t something I think a lot of white dudes are consciously doing. And also, I’m not trying to say every white male who hated The Last Jedi has unrecognized internal biases toward women and/or brown people (but, uh, you probably do); I’m just saying that I think A LOT of white men have a problem with failing to see a person they perceive as the Other, as someone they can relate to or empathize with. Am I totally crazy? Is this too out there? @ me.

ohp, uhp, oop… okay.

to write abstractly
it helps to be stoned; so much
so it feels a crutch.

hip haikus, stanza
formatted. notice: no caps!
it must be for real

this feeling of peace
when I stare through the window
at our wild yard.

no lawnmower knows
this field’s overgrown nature.
it is real untamed.

a grasp on the pipe:
burned up brain pens bad poem,
he stumbles near the end.